What Do You FEAR? Three common fears and their cure
I have learned, the very hard way, that my real enemies weren’t the people I thought were fighting me but rather the ghosts that haunted me and occupied the confined space of my mind; and I believe that theses ghosts were planted there by some of the people in my surroundings but then left for me to feed and to encourage their growth.
I am not the only one with ghosts haunting my mind because there are universal thoughts and fears that people appropriate themselves from childhood, from early school years, from parents, friends, bosses and colleagues.
I am fortunate enough to have been able to identify my fears, to see my ghosts for what they really are and to heal from their haunting.
Embark with me on a journey to discover who your real enemies are.
There are six common fears*: fear of poverty, fear of criticism, fear of ill health, fear of losing love, fear of old age and fear of death.
In this blog I focus on three basic fears and how you can over come them.
1. Fear of poverty: the first impulse most people have towards fear in general and fear of poverty in particular is that: They have no fear! The difficulty with fear is that it’s embedded in our subconscious mind and it is very subtle as an emotion. The way it is expressed is also confusing. Short of the feeling you have when you are watching a thriller scene or when faced with imminent danger (biochemical response*). Fear has other ways of manifesting itself (emotional Response*) and in the case of poverty, I want you to examine yourself for some of the following:
accepting a state of mediocrity.
Acceptance of any offer you get from life without trying to negotiate for more.
Laziness and a general indifference towards ambition
Doubting yourself and or being indecisive.
All of the above.
Any number of the above symptoms are related to your fear of poverty and they are worsened by the relationship you have with money and making it. The cure: Start examining yourself and your actions. Identify how you react when faced with making decisions and taking actions towards your goals. The second step is to taking action! If you catch yourself saying “I’ll do it later” stop and do it now. There is nothing like the present to get you out of the rut of the fear of poverty. The last and most important step is to believe. Believe in yourself and your ability to take action. Become a doer and start now. Practice negotiating, practice taking action and practice believing in yourself.
2. Fear of criticism: Is one of my favorite fears because I have suffered from it for such a long time. Criticism is the one currency that friends, parents and relatives have to give away, readily, without restrain. Criticism also gets deeply rooted in our subconscious mind and it haunts us! I still, vividly remember some of the worst criticism I have received as a child from my father, friends and teachers and that shook my confidence, self-esteem , creativity and initiative. I fell in line often and a lot despite wanting to speak up and share my voice but the fear of consequences, particularly criticism held me back. The Cure: Your first step is to take action. Understand that people are going to criticize no matter what… think of a time when you were watching a soccer game. The top players on the field, what do spectators do? They criticize. Are they any better on the field? No chance! Think about it as you are the one on the field doing whereas they are just sitting, doing nothing but criticizing, and wishing they were you! The second step is to surround yourself with the right people; those who give you constructive feedback and who value your growth and development. Anyone else must either be cut or limited from your life.
3. Fear of bad health and/or Death: And what a time to discuss this particular fear, being a time of COVID-19 when, we all fear for our health. This type of fear can either bring out the best in people or worst in them. You are either fighting people to buy toilet paper or you are looking for action towards the greater good. Fear of death is also a great motivator for many. Looking and knowing that our time is limited, ignites a fire that allows us to move and conquer. In the words of Tony Robbins: “If you want to take the island you must burn the ships” meaning that with sure death facing you and no way out, you must fight to take the island. The Cure: Give yourself no other option than action towards your goals. Knowing that you have the opportunity to take matters into your own hands and controlling what you can. Eating healthy, exercising and meditation will heal, nourish and grow your mind, body and soul.
Summary: Fear is a normal emotion. It is often tricky and has been built in our subconscious mind over years. Fear is manifested in different ways such as procrastination and being risk averse which makes it difficult to understand and realize that our actions or lack thereof are linked to one of the fears I have focused on.
The effects of fear are greatly damaging as they can slow down progress, personal and professional. We become what we fear and Here’s Good News: You Can Make It, by identifying your fears and taking action and creating a strong growth mindset. A mindset is something that is in your hands to control and it is something that you can create. Start now by building the image of the person you want to become and create the mindset that is going to get you to accomplish that image and therefore your goals. Believe you can and you will.
Written by Tarek Azmi. Founder of Here’s Good News.
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Thank you for taking the time to read me and I look forward to your views and comments.
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Notes:
Napoleon Hill, "Think and Grow Rich", "Fear", The Ralston Society, 1937, Ch. 15
https://www.verywellmind.com/the-psychology-of-fear-2671696
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