My alarm rang at 5:46 am; more like my wrist vibrated because my smart watch is programmed to buzz at that time every day. I opened my eyes, hit the stop button and threw my legs out of bed. The first thought in my head was: “I have a plan and I have to fulfill it” because I surmounted the biggest challenge of all and I can show you how you can overcome it too. Make no mistake, this challenge is real, and you must acknowledge it to be able to tame it.

I wasn’t always like that; in fact, I was the complete opposite. Getting up early in the morning was dreadful to me. Facing my day ahead was a real nightmare. I resisted going to bed at night because sleeping meant I had to get up the next day and so I stayed up late to push and delay the eventuality of sleep and when I slept it was never enough. I woke up lethargic, broken and the first words I uttered (for years at a time) were: “I am so depressed”.

Society, requirements, expectations, my dad often telling me that I am worthless, my “friends” at school whispering “he is so dumb” while I was paralyzed by shame, fear, self-consciousness when teachers called upon me to answer questions. My grades justified actions of both my father and my friends. From an early age, trauma and moral abuse kept getting etched in my brain. My neurons got programmed to send signals of worthlessness faced with any challenge. I continuously fought with demons inside my head and I had to work hard to show an image of someone who wasn’t going through that internal turmoil but the harder I tried to look confident, to shut that sabotaging voice inside my head saying: “I can’t do it”, “what’s the point” “just let go”; the more I struggled.

Mistakes I made became mountains bringing me down and there was no way over or around them. My reaction and protection was to curl up in a shell of silence, lock everything and everyone out… but I couldn’t shut self-doubt, I couldn’t overcome that low self esteem, I couldn’t take decisions out of fear of the consequences; until I decided that I had to take action and change. I started to shift my perception and shape my character. I called upon and emulated people I found inspirational in their actions and the way they dealt with difficult situations and that helped me understand that I have no control over consequences of any action. My motto became “better regret the things I have done than wonder of what could have been if…” This gave me the courage to take action, to expected challenges and learn how to overcome them with agility.

It was hight time to take control and to tame the demons in my head because I have learned that “The first and best victory is to conquer self” -Plato.*

I am proud to say that I have managed to conquer self, my fears and doubts and I put together the winning formula for any one to do the same. Here are simple steps you can follow to conquer thy self:

1. Acknowledgement: The first step in conquering self is admitting that you have a challenge and seek it out, acknowledge it. If you feel fear, or self doubt or lack of confidence, the first step is to know that it’s ok to have these emotions. There is no shame and the opinion of others is on them and in no way representative of your true self. Most of the things we struggle with can be over come by learning and developing certain skill. I understood that I had a resilience challenges … not in the sense that, I wasn’t resident but rather I misunderstood resilience. I thought, as many, that resilience means the capacity to endure, whereas it is the capacity to bounce back after a challenge. I could therefore build the right mental agility to deal with that shortcoming. Waking up each morning thinking: “I am depressed” was solved by acknowledging the emotion and seeking all the elements that led to it, then breaking down events into smaller manageable solvable pieces; then building the skills to take actions towards them.

2. Patience: Once you understand your emotions and challenges, you must be patient with yourself and your healing process. Healing takes time and you can’t rush it. The key is continuous progress and noting down feelings, emotions and events that trigger you. Bear in mind that the brain adapts to and is shaped around beliefs… You have the power to literally change your brain; with patience and practice*.

3. Meditation and exercise: Anima sana in corpora sano “You should pray for a healthy mind in a healthy body”* and one may not be dissociated from the other. Meditation and breathing helps you understand that your emotions and thoughts are not yours alone. Millions of other people have the same fears, anger, sadness … it is how you deal with them, that determines your mindset. There was a time where I dwelled and noodled events (on repeat) in my mind. I often revisited the past and relived events but with meditation, I learned to extrapolate myself and see these events, thoughts and emotions and note them as if I was reading an article. I even thanked the thoughts for appearing and wished them well as they disappeared and faded softly. Exercise is another crucial component because it teaches you resilience and focus along with breathing not to mention all the cardiovascular and functional benefits. Driving oxygen and nutrients to the brain, our body is a beautiful complex machine where everything is connected and a lot more is possible

4. Support: The circle is very difficult to complete without the right support. An environment that is not supportive of your growth will slow down your victory. If you want to overcome the difficulty of managing negative thoughts, then it is absolutely necessary to be surrounded by people who encourage you and fuel your growth. Support can be friends and family as well as mentors, coaches and therapists. I have personally done hypnotherapy sessions and they accelerated my victory over my “self”.

Final Thoughts: I have seen both sides of the coin. I lived through the darkness of my of mind, depression, stress, anxiety and I am living now the best years of positivity, clarity and having a purpose in helping people become the best version of themselves and conquer their self. I wouldn’t want to substitute waking up early in the morning with drive and commitment of doing all that I can possibly do to achieve my goals. I managed to transform my state of mind and take control and here’s good news: you can make it! Apply my winning formula and rest assured that I will be in your corner supporting you and fueling your growth.

Written by Tarek Azmi. Founder of Here’s Good News.

Like this blog? Sign-up at www.heresgoodnews.com and you will never miss a post. Fill in your details in the contact us form and receive a courtesy call to start building your dreams and achieving your goals and Here’s Good News: You Can Make It!

__

Notes: 

• Plato, The Symposium. Penguin Classics. p. 90 -Plato believed "There's a victory, and defeat; the first and best of victories, the lowest and worst of defeats which each man gains or sustains at the hands not of another, but of himself." and "The first and best victory is to conquer self. To be conquered by self is, of all things, the most shameful and vile." Plato emphasized that victory is self-motivated, while glory is to benefit future victory

• Evolve your brain. The science of changing your mind. Dr. Joe Dispenza

• Satires X. Wrong desires is the source of suffering. Juvenal. 1992. The Satires. Trans. Niall Rudd. Oxford: Oxford University Press. “It is to be prayed that the mind be sound in a sound body.

  Ask for a brave soul that lacks the fear of death,

  which places the length of life last among nature’s blessings,

  which is able to bear whatever kind of sufferings,

  does not know anger, lusts for nothing and believes

  the hardships and savage labors of Hercules better than

  the satisfactions, feasts, and feather bed of an Eastern king.

  I will reveal what you are able to give yourself;

  For certain, the one footpath of a tranquil life lies through virtue.”

__